Coming Back

The last month of intense work, illness, worry, and recovery has been exhausting, yet in the end renewing.  Details aside, it has been a rough month for many of the people I love.  But all is well that ends well, I guess, and in coming back to a semi-normal routine feels like a blessing. 

So for the first time in almost 4 weeks, I went for a long run this Saturday.  At first it was hard and I wondered if I would have to cut it short, as I often did after being sick for two weeks due to lack of energy and weak lungs.  However I hung in there and felt strong when I finished.  Along the way, I had a visit with a dear friend.  I saw a big black lab, who locked his loving eyes on me and wiggled his rump like mad wanting to say hello.  Feeling like I would be overstepping my bounds to pet him as I ran past, I stopped at the drinking fountain to smile as he and his owner walked by.  He made a b-line for the fountain and tore away from her complacent grip on the leash to nuzzle and lick me.  His owner, surprised, scolded her canine friend apologizing to me. Her usually docile and obedient dog did not normally behave like that.  I let her know that no apology was needed; I was delighted to meet a new friend.  But that wasn’t entirely the truth, this dog and many others like him seem to me to be an old friend, a friend I have been lucky enough to keep my whole life.  David Hall is one of my most enduring friends; in fact he’s been my pal since I was born. Our mothers and fathers were best friends growing up, and David was like a big brother to me.  My friend David has always had a special bond with dogs.  So much so, that each time I greet a special new dog friend, I feel like I am getting one of David’s big bear hugs.  The Black Labs have special meaning, David’s long beloved canine partner Boulder, had these loving eyes that could penetrate your soul.  While Boulder is no longer with us in physical form, very often I feel like Boulder is sending his brothers on earth, to smile at me, to radiate love toward me through those big dark eyes, and in this instance he just couldn’t resist coming over and saying hello.  The dialog I imagined as he saw me run by on the trail, went something like this, “Hey! I know you!  Look, it’s me!  Hold still a minute, I need to give you a cuddle!”  My friend David lives in Oregon now and while I know he is physically very far away I feel like my big bro sends me these dear dogs to let me know he’s looking out for me and loving me, like he always has.  If you are reading this DD, I appreciate your brotherly love and the guardians and playmates you send my way in your absence.  Hope to see you in the flesh again soon!

After my animal love fest, I had to stop and talk to his horse for a few minutes too!  He was eating carrots that someone had gifted him at the fence line. 

Coming back to blogging after a hiatus feels challenging, just as that first run did.  There is the feeling of needing to retell each detail of the last month, which might be cathartic or by contrast, tedious. My fingers on the keyboard, typing out my experiences, feel familiar but somehow new and different.  I wonder, can I still do this, did I forget how, have I lost my touch.  I set my worries aside and let the words spill out.  Slowly, it seems to be coming back to me.